Just getting the last of the blue out of my system here. I'm not sure what grabbed me and made me all weepy, but I spent a few days with tears in my eyes and everything was too loud and too bright and so damn hard to take.
I'm feeling better. At least consciously working on getting a grip seems to be helping. I went to a big craft store on my way home yesterday and got a BOX of safety pins for the socks. The big kids weren't here last night, but when Willow took off her socks at bedtime and I showed her the plan, she laughed and laughed. She thinks it's a great idea, and very funny. Today I did a little meal planning, and after work I'll pick up the stuff I need at the store. On Friday, when I can find socks and I don't have to worry about what is for dinner, maybe I'll feel good enough to start singing in the shower again.
I am happy. Very happy, in fact. Even more happy than usual, because my little brother and his wife just had a baby last Saturday. I cannot *wait* to go see them next month. At the same time, I've got a lot of fucking balls in the air and I'm feeling a lot of guilt over all the ones I'm dropping. I need to find that balanced zone of knowing when to cut myself some slack and when to push myself harder. I need to make the asshole critic in my head into a more helpful and constructive persona. That said, when the critic really gets me down, I feel entitled to have gummi bears and Patron for dinner. So, thanks, Critic, for the excuse to be indulgent last night. You can have the day off today even though Willow is going to Brownies for the second week in a row without her "homework" that I was supposed to do with her. Also, Critic, if I'm such a loser, how do you explain SG sticking around?
Yes, I was just talking to myself in a blog post. Whatever.