Not Calm (dot com)

day thirty

My Grandfather's camera.

I didn't really post post every day of November for NaBloPoMo.  Some days I didn't have anything at all to say, and other days I did have something but I was sleepy or busy.  Tonight, for instance, I have lots to say, but I fell asleep with the girls earlier, and now I'm up, barely, and mostly interested in going back to sleep.

I spent a big chunk of today in the hospital (I'm fine), and I'm kicking myself for not bringing my camera.  The hospital I go to is partly brand new, but the original parts are old and interesting.  Today I could have taken a photo of the thermometer on the wall in the women's bathroom on the sixth floor in the old building: it was a shiny silver rectangle-shaped box, with a mid twentieth century mercury thermometer on the front, and open metal lacework on the sides.  I have a huge love for things like that.  What would you call it?  Urban art?  The windows in that bathroom are frosted and have fifty or sixty year old metal handles that have white spots of paint where they shouldn't from the last time the bathroom was painted.  Even the sink was pretty. 

At one point, in the waiting room near the window six floors up, I was reading Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird, and I was on the page near the very beginning (page 7) where she says, "But you hold an imaginary gun to your head and make yourself stay at the desk."  I saw that a heavenly beam of sunlight was coming through the beat-up blinds and one little slice of it was illuminating that sentence along with all the dust particles floating over it.  I sneezed and thought of M. Kennedy and this awesome thing she put together.   And, I really wished I'd brought my camera.

I have to go back in a month or so, and I swear that I'll bring my camera.  Even if I get weird looks from people, I'll take some pictures in that bathroom. 

How many great photographs do you miss because it's embarrassing to whip out your camera and squat down on the sidewalk near a leaf or a gum wrapper?  Most of my favorite shots were taken with people looking at me and thinking, "What is she doing?"  I'm getting better at not caring, but even when I'm driving and taking pictures, I feel funny about it.

So, tomorrow it'll be December and it may be that the internet takes a collective break and breath and bubblebath.  This month has been so nice, though.  It was like a big conversation, and I enjoyed hearing it. 

preserved leaves

preserved leaves
Originally uploaded by jenijen.

2

  2 
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.

I could sleep for a week. 

no left turn

  no left turn 
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.

Nate's stomach feels funny and he wants me to go sleep in his bed.  John's stomach felt funny all weekend and he barfed a few times on Saturday night.  I think I'll stay an arm's length away from Nate and not wear my new jammies. 

Here's part of a conversation I had today:  "But, you know, it IS pretty funny.  Or, it would be funny if it was happening to someone I hated instead of to me.  I guess that when I hate myself, it is very funny indeed."

It's been cold and rainy here, so I've been listening to good music (Jolie Holland and Nick Cave mostly) while I drive around in the rain and also the cold is increasing my coffee consumption which tends to lead to disaster in social situations.  I need to revisit and redevelop my affection for tea.  Tea that will help despazzinate me. 

I made a calendar on flickr using some of my photos (nary a kid in sight, except April's shot that shows a little of Willow -- her rainboots mainly-- peeking from her huge yellow duck umbrella) that I bought intending to give as a christmas gift.  Now that it's here (I had to check it out first), I feel sorta weird sending it.  Is it totally narcissistic to give someone a gift like that?  What if they don't like it?  Maybe I will just keep it, so every day when I check the date I'll be reminded of what a conceited ass I am. 

hi fi

hi fi
Originally uploaded by jenijen.

driving at night

driving at night
Originally uploaded by jenijen.

the message

I just picked up the phone to make a quick call and it was doing that *bonk*bonk* thing it does when there's a message on the voice mail.  I dialed in to get the message, which turned out to be from Sophie.  She'll take one of the cordless phones and call our number, which puts her right through to voice mail instead of giving her a busy signal.  Here's what she said:

Hi, Mama.
How you doing?
Good.
(whispering) I'm in the bathroom, um, um, I'm in the bathroom and I'm talking to you on the phone. 
I know you're here (sigh) but I really miss you. 
I really miss you. (crying) Please. Please tell me when I come back (sob) tell me that you love me and for Valentine's Day I'll give you a Valentine.
I love you.
Bye.

glass cranberry juice bottle

  glass cranberry juice bottle 
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.
Thank you, NaBloPoMo, for making me drag myself out of bed *just* as I was falling asleep, to take close-up pictures of condiments, juice, and fish oil in the fridge. I love my cranberry juice even more now, because it's kinda purty.

(mustard and milk don't come out so well, but the fish oil caplets were interesting)

Fresh Paint

   
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.

Well, ha ha ha.  Firefox crashed on me and I lost the post I wrote (glad it's not quite midnight).  It's funny, because I wrote all about how I'd been sent a book, a bottle of wine and a cd to read, drink, listen to, and write about. 

I wrote about how very, very late I was in posting my opinion, and then, just as I was getting the last link in, it was eaten. 

The cd was Diana Krall's from this moment on.  It's very good.  (DUH.)  I knew it would be when I said I'd love to have it sent to me.  I like to put it on while I'm working in the mornings and drinking coffee.  I am planning to buy a copy for my dad for Christmas, in fact. 

The book was Lunch Lessons: Changing the Way We Feed Our Children.  In all honesty, I didn't read the whole thing, but that was all about me and not a reflection of the book.  I haven't read much of anything lately, except the last Lemony Snicket story.  I did read enough of it to say that's it's a very welcome and needed addition to my bookshelf.  My boys are insistent on getting school lunch every day, and I like to tell myself that has something to do with their foul mood when I pick them up in the afternoon.  I think they just eat the starchy stuff and toss the veggies and fruit.  I'm looking forward to reading all of it and seeing if I can convince them to bring a lunch to school - maybe just a couple days a week to start.  I'd liked to have had this in my library before the kids started school; it would have been even more helpful then.

Finally, the wine!  I had a very funny moment when I clicked on the link and for a second thought that the bottle sold for $178.  That's the per case price, though it's on sale.  Anyway, I thought, "Oh, shit!  I shouldn't have drunk that (drank that? drinken it?) while I was putzing around in the kitchen cooking supper and baking!"

That said, I did enjoy the wine.  It's a cabernet/merlot blend.  It isn't what I'd normally buy, but it was good, so I'm happy to have expanded my horizons.  Also, the label is really well-done, and I took a photo of the bottle.  See?



The website says that it's all about the fruity flavors, but I seem to remember it also having a little spicy/tobaccoish note (in the most positive way -- I like that) too.  I think.  It was a long time ago, after all. 

It's nearly midnight, and I'll be damned if I screw up the NaBloPoMo now. 

Happy Thanksgiving.  I'm thankful for the internet.

Une tour bleue d'Eiffel pour des fourmis

Une tour bleue d'Eiffel pour des fourmis
Originally uploaded by jenijen.

hello, D

One of my closest friends is named D. That isn't her name, but I haven't asked if I can out her here on this non-anonymous webpage, so D she is.  I talk to D very nearly every single day.

We are an odd pair.  She's gorgeous and blonde and blue eyed and, well, swank.  We've known each other since forever, since before I had kids.  Since we waited tables together and would sit in my gold Mazda RX7 after work to talk and smoke cigarettes. 

We haven't worked together in many years, but we are closer now than we were when we saw each other all the time.  We very, very rarely see each other.  A handful of times in the past ten years.  But, we talk.  And talk.  And talk.  We are sort of like shrinks for each other, with the added bonuses of being free, talking for over fifty minutes at a time, discussing important things like shoes in total detail, and also discussing things you'd never tell your shrink at all. 

D does not have kids.  I don't think she ever wanted to.  I, obviously, have them.  Boy, do I.  I think for lots of women, that's a friendship breaker for both parties.  The woman who never wanted children might feel like she can't relate to the ones who do, and women with children can feel the same right back.  But, for us it's a great thing.  She knew me before I had children, which I like.  I can talk to her for hours about things that have nothing to do with kids.  I love my kids, but I also love many other things in this big, wide world.  I have lots of other interests.  It seems like (and this isn't a bad thing) with my "mom" friends, we talk about kids pretty regularly.  D and I  bounce ideas off each other, we vent, we discuss our health issues in gory detail. 

John is off work this whole week, so today, after I worked this morning, I got in my minivan and drove over the mountains and found D's lovely little house.  It made me drool.  Did you know that if you don't have kids you get to put really nice things wherever you want?  Beautiful glass vases and plates and bowls, a zillion plants, and framed photos in stands on tables.  I'd forgotten.  Any nice things we have are packed away or so close to the ceiling that I can't see them anyhow.  Also, you get to have your underwear folded perfectly in the drawer and arranged by color.  Maybe that's just D, though.

It was great to get to visit.  Now that the kids are getting bigger, I find time for more things that are just for me.  It's been a long time.  Occasionally, when I go out on a Friday night or something, I feel a little bit of guilt.  It's silly, because I am not a martyr at all.  I suppose I haven't done things just for myself in so long that it feels funny to me.  I came home today much later than I'd planned, but no one minded.  I wasn't met at the door by an exhausted husband and a cranky baby.  In fact, John and Willow were cuddling on the couch watching cartoons, and the other kids were all playing with friends.  It was okay for me to be off having some time for me. 

I enjoyed the drive over and back, too.  Me, all alone in the van with my ipod.  The roads I took are pretty windy, to say the least, and I had fun cranking the music and pretending my van was a sports car.

my favorite photographer

Originally uploaded by S. McKay.

If you've never seen S.McKay's photos, do yourself a favor and visit his flickr page.

leaves

  leaves 
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.

I had about an hour to myself this afternoon, and since I had to spend two hours at the mall today (whimper), I went for a nice, long, lonely walk.

Heaven.

linked

linked
Originally uploaded by jenijen.

You know, most of my day was kinda shit. I even cried. Oh poor me, I know. The parts that didn't make me cry were pretty good, though. I bought the kids' ornaments (at the hell pit called Kohl's -- now I know that my mom isn't giving me those $10 off things to be nice. That place bites.) Every year I get them a Christmas ornament (or a few) so that when they grow up and move away, they'll have enough for a tree of their own. (Note to self; Blogging Baby post material!)

I got to sew tonight. Sophie and I made a tooth fairy pillow for her friend's birthday gift. He's pretty cute -- I'll get some pictures before we wrap him up.

The bonus about being all droll and morose is that it's a good time for thinking. (Also, listening to sad music.) Maybe the thoughts aren't chipper, but they can be deeper than when you're feeling all fine and good.

My thoughts today when I was sobbing behind the wheel of my minivan weren't especially deep, and I may have been channeling Mitzi from Six Feet Under. My main thought (in her accent) was, "These kids need to help me more and do some goddamned chores! Little shits!"

I didn't say the morose thoughts were always deep.

Also, just to be clear, I was not crying about the chores. It was just a thought.

tomatoes

  tomatoes 
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.

It's not quite midnight.  I've fallen asleep twice tonight already.  Willow's been pretty sick and barfy and I'm tired. 

I could sleep until spring.

Today we had these cherry tomatoes and some watermelon.  Good watermelon.  And, I got a package from Laura with an awesome handmade pin cushion (Sophie broke the buttons off in less than a minute -- but I found them and will fix it) and a new seam ripper (how did she know?) and lavender chocolate.  I had to hide that for now, because the girls were all hot for me to share it.  That's what happens when you encourage your kids to share; they want to include you in that deal. 

Tomorrow I have some sewing to do, and I will be happily using my new gifts and sneaking bites of chocolate whenever I am forced to use that seam ripper.  Thanks Laura!

bright

  bright 
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.

I had a feeling when I took this photo that even though it looked clear on the viewscreen it was really a little blurry.  It is, but only if you look at it up close.  I'll let you, if you are so inclined, draw your own conclusions about how that may or may not be a reflection of life in general or specifically. 

Today was one of those hit the ground running days, and it isn't over yet.  Willow was violently barfy this morning, so she stayed home from preschool.  I worked in the morning, then took her over to the elementary school where I helped the kindergarteners with their clay project.  We went to a friend's house after school (that's her daisy above, and what the hell, below as well).



Then it was home for a very rushed supper and off to school again for family science night.  I bitched and moaned about how much I didn't want to go (I think I was overheard to say that I'd rather be shot) but of course I was glad we went.  Sometimes I'm just like the children that way.

They ran around the school cafeteria with their buddies, doing fun science projects.  They made sidewalk chalk in dixie cups that I am praying will be usable in the morning.  Their wrath can be overpowering. 

There were bright spots in the day, but they were bookended with the whiney, screetchy, shrill bickering that makes me clench my jaw HARD and always gives me a stellar headache later on.  I did some laundry and appreciated my dryer sheets.  I have to close my eyes when I grab them off the shelf at the market, because they are ridiculously expensive.  But, you know what, they bring me weeks of happiness and if you look at it that way, they're a bargain.  I currently am using lemon verbena.

I like that I'm making myself look for something beautiful every day.  It's something I thought I always did, until I started to do it deliberately like this.  Some days it's afternoon and I'll be a crankpot over one thing or another and I'll remember I need to find some sort of beauty.  It's a good thing to do, and I think I'll keep it up after the month ends. 

sick crying baby

   
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.

trumps NaBloPoMo.  Sorry. 

*updated*

Poor Willow.  Once she finally barfed (and barfed and barfed) she felt much better. I'm exhausted, though, and quite behind on the laundry.

Please go visit Squid and help her raise funds to provide her son's school with a scooter ramp.  I know you could use the good karma!

ghost truck

  ghost truck 
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.

Nate and Sophie went to play with friends (a brother and sister they know) after school today.  When it was time to get them, Lex wanted to go pick them up so he could go see the old car "behind" their house he'd heard about after they played there last week. 

Bring the camera, Mom, he told me.  So, I did.

We got to the house and went through the gate in the backyard fence that leads to the easement beyond.  High voltage power lines run behind the house, and there's an enormous tower a little way down the street from the house we were at.  The kids headed that way, so I followed them.  The space under the lines is all empty, bordered by backyard fences on either side.  Sophie and her friend had picked watermelons from someone's garden. Someone without a back fence. 

We walked and walked.  Maybe a half mile.  Past the huge power tower thing with all its razor wire and warnings about radio frequency.  The humming buzz of the lines was loud.  I imagined, (or maybe I wasn't) that I could feel the electricity on my skin.  It vibrated.

The old truck was beautiful.  Rusted, wrecked, shattered.  The kids called it a zombie truck and said there was someone dead inside.  They started to try and open the door, but I yelled at them that it wasn't safe.  Sometimes I hate being the mom; I wanted to check it out, too.

Alex took a couple of photos, and then I demanded my camera back since the sun was setting. 

So, that was one of the beautiful things I saw today.  Probably not beautiful to many people, but it was to me.  Even more so since it was so unexpected.  I love that the kids had a chance to explore on their own and find it.  I used to do things like that all the time when I was little, but I'm still apprehensive about letting them out of my site when we're out.  It wasn't the safest thing ever, them going far enough to find that truck, but I think childhood needs those experiences.  I think it requires them.

 

raindrops

  raindrops 
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.

Typepad won't let me in to blog, so I'll try it from Flickr.  It's rainy.  I love the rain. 

Soph was complaining about something not being fair, and I said, "It all comes out pretty even in the end, though."

She said, "NO, it all comes out stupid, 'cause in the end, I hafta go to bed."

She's right, of course.

ack!

I nearly missed a day!  I saw some bee-you-tea-ful things in my own backyard.  I baked banana muffins and did some rearranging and watched a squirrel take a butterfingers candy bar high up into a tree and eat it while an orange cat watched, so pissed off, he was quivering.  At one point the cat chased the squirrel across the fence top, which delighted Willow (and Matt and me).  It was a comedy, for free, right outside the window. 

visitor

  visitor 
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.

I saw lots of beautiful men today.  I wanted to photograph them, but I figured they might not like it too much.  One was young, maybe twenty or so, and he was running out of the grocery store with two big bouquets of flowers.  It was a grey day, and the flowers were bright and lovely in comparison.  He looked happy.

Another man I saw was holding his infant daughter.  She was tiny, with big blue eyes and a mop of black hair.  She wasn't even six months old, but she was standing with her belly against his shoulder, her feet flat on his open hand.  He kept one hand hovering behind her back in case she fell. 

The other man I saw was old.  Really old.  He was walking home from the market with a brown grocery bag, and I could see the tip of a loaf of French bread peeking out.  He had on a brown suit, a tie, and a hat. 

I ran errands alone for a chunk of the afternoon.  It was heaven.  I shopped and went to the pharmacy.  Silly that I enjoyed it so much, but I did.  It seems like I spend at least a few moments of every day silently freaking out about getting older.  (Yes, I know that I'm not that old.)  I was thinking about that as I walked from the pharmacy to my van, because the guy at the pharmacy was a guy I know from high school.  Suddenly it's been twenty years since we used to hang out during lunch making fun of the jocks and cheerleaders.  Before I know it, my kids will be in high school themselves.  I walked up to the van and saw the VISITOR sign freshly painted on the parking lot asphalt.  It was almost like the planet was saying, "DUH you're just a visitor here!"

The sky was gorgeous today. 

bird bag

  bird bag 
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.

Well, hi.

A second night of blowing off responsibility and watching a screen.  This time, though, it was a movie in a theatre.  How novel!  We saw Stranger Than Fiction, which I completely enjoyed.  I ate popcorn (a whole bag which I didn't share) and drank a soda (rarest of luxuries) and didn't think about anything but that movie for the whole two hours (or however long) it was running. 

We had a kind of long running summer here this year, but suddenly (like, hours after the PG&E guy came to inspect my heater) it is cold.  And the cold when it's been so warm is colder than the cold when it gets cold gradually.  So, it's cold here, and it's a few degrees colder feeling than what the thermometer says, not because of wind chill, but because of recent warmness.  Does it frighten you that even though that doesn't make sense, it totally makes sense? 

Don't worry, if you look closely enough, most things are that way.  Aren't they?

continued withdrawal symptoms

I just re-watched the last episode of Six Feet Under instead of doing all the things I really should have.  My eyes are all stingy from crying, and I'll almost be sorry in the morning when I have to hustle.  But, Alan Ball?  He's my hero. 

I really miss Six Feet Under.  It's a little weird.

Willow is starting to whine and fidget in her sleep.  I'm sure that earache is going to rear its ugly and painful head any moment now. . .

blue skies

  blue skies 
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.

Last time John went cd shopping, I asked him to bring me Stardust.  Yes, it is a Willie Nelson album.  I've been listening to it often in the mornings while I work.  Nothin but blue skies, from now on. . .

I talked to my brother for a good long while today.  It's been just about a year since they moved away.  I miss him, but they are doing so well.  I find myself wishing that we could relocate (strictly for money issues) often lately.  I don't think we will, since family is here.  It would be great to not be a renter anymore.  It's really hard for me to not get ill when I think about how much rent we've paid in the last five years. 

Right now I need to tend to my girls.  Willow seems to have an ear infection and Sophie is in my face, clearly wanting some attention. 

Hmmm.  I read one blogger's complaint that people doing NaBloPoMo were posting crap just to be posting. 

gutter stars

  gutter stars 
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.

I love urban beauty.

I just wrote a post for Blogging Baby about Lex being a preteen.  I got myself all teary thinking about him being a toddler.  Damn, he was cute.  I miss him.  He's been really sweet and cuddly lately, which is nice. 

I had a doctor's appointment today that ended with the doctor saying, "Well, we really have nothing to offer you!"

What do you say to that?  Okay, then, bye!

But, the good news is that the two docs I saw today aren't all hot on the idea that I have Lupus like the guy I saw a couple weeks back.  The one today told me to quit taking advil and to take tylenol.  They are obviously trying to kill me.  But, I'll be good and do as I'm told.  The arthritis pain is just something I have to live with, apparently.  That's fine.  I've been doing that, thinking that I had Lupus, too.  Now it's just pain, which is alright in comparison.

I need to get Willow to bed; she's falling asleep in my lap!

The last lemon

   
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.

I had fun today driving by myself to get Willow from school.  I was listening to an album that I really liked when I was seventeen or so, and I turned it up loud.  The minivan was kinda vibrating like the cars of those awful boys (and girls, I guess it's an equal opportunity brand of obnoxiousness) with the deafening bass that sets off car alarms.  Not quite that much, though. 

It was a perfect, gorgeous day.  I was driving down one of the most scenic roads there ever was and enjoying the red and orange trees against the blue, blue sky. 

The rest of my day pretty much blew, so that is all.  I voted.  Fingers crossed to see what happens.

Have you seen my sense of accomplishment?

I think because I never really get caught up (not even close, man), I never feel that wonderful feeling of having all my work finished.  There are days, not today -- but some days -- when I cross off everything on my "to do" list.  That feels nice, but it's just not the same as waking up on a Saturday morning and knowing that there's nothing you have to do.  That all your work is completed and it's playtime. 

I think those days might return when the kids get older, certainly when they've all moved into their own homes.  Sometimes I think how great it would be if I had the house to myself for two weeks.  I'd get everything sorted and organized and cleaned up.  Of course, then the kids would come home and it would be chaos again in a flash.  I'm not sure why I waste any time wishing for order, but I do.

What I'd really like to do is get a group of women together, maybe ten or so, and rent a furnished apartment.  We could split the rent and bills ten ways, and every tenth day we'd get 24 hours there to have our own space (shared, but separately shared, you know?) where no one would mess up anything or put empty milk jugs in the fridge.  I love my children, and at the same time, I'm with them enough to crave my own space.  It's been ten years since I had that, and when I had it I didn't know how precious it was.  I think to myself how much more I'd value my very own apartment these days, and I suddenly understand why older people preach in vain to younger ones about how they ought to live their lives. 

Course, I'd probably get really bored after a few hours alone.  HA!  NO, no I wouldn't, not really.

It's easy to find beauty in autumn

Originally uploaded by jenijen.

paper lantern

  paper lantern 
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.

I was getting ready to start supper (early, because we all need to get to bed early tonight) and I remembered that I bought eggplant because I'd been craving some roasted, salty, eggplant slices.  Then, I thought that since I hadn't found something beautiful yet today (stomach flu makes everything look ugly), I'd take the eggplants outside and take a picture of them before I cut them up and ate them.

But, it was not to be.  The eggplant was grossly mushy.  Instead I'm cooking zucchini fries, fresh green beans, roasted Dutch yellow potatoes and an herb-roasted chicken (for the carnivores). 

I did, however, remember that last Saturday at about this time of day I was not helping Lex with his school project while Soph went off to play with friends without Willow who sobbed, "What about me?" into my shoulder while Nate kept talking about watching Alien again (I know I am a HORRIBLE mother.  He's only seven.  I know.), I was out shopping with my mom in one of my favorite cities (Berkeley, CA) and while shopping I bought these paper lanterns to hang from the ceiling in the girls' room even though we aren't supposed to put ANYTHING on or in or near the ceiling. 

Time to cook supper. 

synchronized shopping

For my birthday awhile back my sister (the one who looks like my daughter) gave me a gift certificate to the Costco of shoe stores.  I've been trying to get myself over there for ages, it seems, and all these pesky problems kept keeping me from it.  Finally, tonight, instead of cooking supper I got into the van ALONE and drove to the shoe warehouse in search of boots.

I wasn't too far from my house when I made a right turn and saw a gorgeous moon.


It never comes across well on film (or digitized) does it?  It was really nice in person, though, and I'm a total moon freak.  (My first tattoo was of a crescent moon and star and I'm not even Turkish)

I made it to the shoe store and (shhhh) bought two pair of boots.   While I was shopping, Lex called on the mobile phone about fifty times, so in a way I wasn't really alone.  After the third call, I went from relaxed to cranky, so I also bought some black and while striped socks. 

I got back to the van, where I immediately got the boots out again so I could touch them and smell them and pretend like no one but me ever tried them on.  I happened to check the rear-view mirror, and there was my newlywed daughter sister and her man, strolling to their car.

I rolled down the window and yelled, "Hey!  Thanks for the boots!"  They were there because he just bought a box set of Planet of the Apes (in a monkey head) and so she was countering with shoes.  Not even a month, and they have the whole married thing down pat!

Anyhow, I just thought it was funny, since I'd been desperately trying to get to the shoe store and when I finally went, I ran into them.  Neither of us live all that close to the shoe place, either, BUT it is spitting distance of my old apartment, where Sophie was born.  I drove by for old time's sake and was horrified to see that whomever lives there now (loser) took out my lovely, elderly lavender plant and now has an empty patch of dirt there instead (that was the lavender plant that Nate used to eat the flowers off of and the inspiration for me to make lavender ice cream for his second birthday party) and they planted tiny palm tree bush things in the yard.  Also, they took out the fence that my brother put in to keep the kids from running into the street.  Good thing I have my boots to cheer me up.

 

Looking for opinions

I wrote about this story over at Blogging Baby, and it brought up some really strong responses.  What do you think about it?

A couple has three children.  One of the children, a girl, has such profound disabilities that she will always have the mental capacity of an infant and she'll never be able to care for herself in any way.  The parents care for her in their home, where she appears to be happy -- she vocalizes and smiles when her family interacts with her. 

The parents, who are smart and loving and kind and desperately wanting to be able to continue caring for the girl, decided to prematurely arrest her growth so that they'd be able to keep her at home.  The treatment included high doses of estrogen and a hysterectomy.  She is six years old and isn't expected to grow much bigger at all. 

I understand the motivation, but looking at this case from a clinical standpoint, from the perspective of what precedent it sets, and with the question of this girl's rights, did the parents do what was best for her?

I'm not sure.  I know they didn't just blindly do this, and I imagine that they may have some regrets over it.  It just makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.  I worry about what door is being opened here.  We've come a long way from the days when mentally ill patients were sterilized and this seems to be moving back to that time.   I want to say that since the motivation was good, the action was too, but I don't know if I can make that leap.

What do you think?

A girl and her umbrella

  A girl and her umbrella 
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.

Today's beauty: first puddle jumping of the season.

love thursday

Willow wanted to go out and watch the falling leaves and play in the rain this afternoon.  She was barefoot and grubby from a long day at preschool and several helpings of candy. 

I'm in a crank mood and finding the beauty around me is a challenge.  Luckily, Willow is around to make it a no-brainer.

Halloween is so over

Halloween is so over
Originally uploaded by jenijen.

it wasn't blooming yesterday

  it wasn't blooming yesterday 
  Originally uploaded by jenijen.

I've been watching my lavender plant (it's the only happy growing thing in our whole yard) and waiting for it to start blooming again.  Yesterday there weren't any blooms yet, but today I saw that a couple have made an appearance.

Mother of the Bride

I have a sister, she was recently married, who is 24.  I am 36.  The other night I ran over to Trader Joe's to get a few things, and the guy checking me out (ringing up my groceries, checking me out, and certainly not checking me out checking me out, because, well, keep reading. . . ) says, "Do you have a daughter named Ashley?"

Ouch.

"Um, I have a sister named Ashley," I told him.