worried

Sometimes I do understand, just a little, the point of view of people who are against abortion.  Life IS precious and we do only get one chance at it.  But I will never understand people who not only want to outlaw abortion, but want to force rape and incest victims to bear children conceived by such abhorrent, violent ways and then give parental rights to the rapist.  (!!!???!!!)

What.  The.  FUCK??!!

This is such a scary turn of events.  And, if it were to pass, and if it were to become law throughout the country, how does a doctor decide if a pregnancy is endangering the mother's life??  I very nearly died while I was pregnant with Willow.  I was gravely ill when I was 26 weeks pregnant, and an induction was started to keep me alive.  The doctors said that she had a 50/50 chance of surviving, and that if she survived, her chances of having severe complications were really high.  But.  But.  But.  I got better enough so that my life was no longer in immediate danger.  Inexplicably.  Amazingly.  And they never did figure out what was wrong with me. 

I was discussing abortion recently with two close family members who are very much anti-choice.  I told them that if I found myself pregnant again, I would seriously consider ending the pregnancy.  Would it completely break my heart to do so?  Yes.  Would I ever really forgive myself?  Probably not.  But, I have four children who really need their mom, and they are here, now.  They are more alive.  They have more rights to have me healthy.  And these family members agreed with me, that, yes, I would be justified in aborting if I found myself pregnant.  But, I said to them, how do you ever really know that the pregnancy could be fatal?  You cannot predict those things with absolute certainty.  And, I said, what about the woman who is in danger of being murdered when she happens to find herself pregnant?  Because whether by a natural course of events or at the hands of angry relatives, pregnancy can be life threatening for many, many women.  Are there women who use abortion as birth control?  I would think not too many, given that it is not easy, ever.  Is it something that most women struggle with and agonize over?  I believe so.  Is it ever going to make sense to let someone else decide what choice is right for me?  No.  The decision to end a pregnancy is up to one person and one person only.  The woman who is pregnant.  Her reasons are her own business.  Our business, as a society, is to see that she has a clean, safe, supportive and expertly staffed place to go when she needs to end a pregnancy.  Our responsibility as a society is to teach sex education in schools and everywhere else and to prevent unwanted pregnancies instead of pretending that teenagers don't have sex.  Our duty is to face reality rather than pretend things are all neat and clean and how we think they should be. 

I really need to sleep.  I am so tired I am not sure if my rant made sense, even.  But, really.  This is the most frightening thing I have read in a long time.  It makes me sick. 

Comments

[jenny]

thanks, jen.

[Mary]

I applaud your courage to speak frankly with your relatives. That's a hard thing to do.

I'm angry about all of this, too.

[elayne]

You made perfect sense, and I'm sick right along with you (as well as agreeing with every word you said).

The usual argument behind parental rights is "well, if the child is born, the father should be required to pay child support, and we can't require child support if they don't have parental rights because that's NOT FAIR," and don't even get me started on THAT load of shit, but the only thing, the ONLY thing that this will do in terms of "protecting people" is - it will protect the MEN who commit such violent crimes. A woman could be hesitant to report her assailant, for fear of being rendered unable to make a choice about her own life (or punished if she does), fear of being shackled to her assailant for the rest of her life, and not wanting to put an innocent child in that position as well (for those women who do make the choice to continue with the pregnancy).

Wouldn't it be great if everyone in SD just up and moved the hell out? That is some scary shit, and I have a hard time believing it's happening in this nation, this century.

[Lin]

You made perfect sense. Now we just need to get those morons in SD to hear our voices. I know it won't really matter, though, and that just scares me silly for all of you young women who may one day live in a country where Roe v Wade has been outlawed. Pro-choice activism is a responsibility of all women who believe in choice.

[ginviren]

I am totally agreeing with you here. I can't believe what is going on right now.

[ginviren]

I am totally agreeing with you here. I can't believe what is going on right now.

[Refinnej]

You're not alone in your thoughts. Not at ALL.

[Wendy Mac]

*sigh*

Well said.

I am at a loss for words. Just *sigh*.

[VenturaMom]

Bravo.

[capello]

You did a fabulous job describing how many women feel... including me.

When I was in college I took a sociology course which discussed the rights of women - specifically in terms of abortions - all around the world. And it is VERY scary what some women face and have to go through, and it scares me what how our government is acting like it is starting to go in the same directions.

[Daria]

You make perfect sense. If this comes into effect (affect?)women are screwed. I am very much for pro-choice and it makes me sick to think of women not having a choice.
I am not a good enough writer to express everything I feel but you did it wonderfully.
Love,
Me

[Dixie]

Bravo, Jen! Bravo!

[Marsha]

In my daughters sex ed class they told her that a condom isn't reliable and therefore abstinence is the only true form of birth control. This really upset me and I have spent about a year trying to convince her otherwise.

I feel like the pro choice/pro life debate is the only portiion of the debate. I mean there is so much violence against women, being a poor single mother is so hopeless and misserable, kids aren't using birth control. There doesn't seem to be as much social momentum toward preventing rape, incest, unintended pregnacies, child support etc. Preventing the necessity of an abortion instead of changing laws.