I'm unfunny
I finally hauled my ass over to the dmv today, just me and my knitting and a bunch of important papers and my checkbook. My excellent sister came by to watch the monkeys. I was sad to be in and out in less than an hour.
The guy who helped me looked at my shirt, puzzled. "Writing is the best revenge. . . what's fussy?" "Oh," says I, "it's my friend's website." (cause who wants to explain the whole phenomenon, and I did meet her, after all, lucky me)
"Why is it the best revenge?"
"Uh, you know the saying about living well?"
blank stare
"Okay, so how much is the tax and transfer and all that?"
"Three fifty seven."
I decide not to do any Dirty Harry impressions or even make a reference. Too much work. I hand him a check and say, "It would be really funny if you made people show their license when they wrote a check!"
*thinks a moment* "Why would that be funny?"
"Uh, 'cause it's the dmv, and you guys give out the licenses, you know?"
"Hmmm."
"Am I all done then?"
Oh! That makes me feel like such an ass when I'm face to face with a moron who doesn't get my jokes. I feel like an ass for even bothering.
Posted by: Vanessa | Thursday, August 04, 2005 at 06:01 PM
I think you're hysterical! My fussy shirt is too small. But it's still a great souvenir.
Posted by: nina | Thursday, August 04, 2005 at 08:19 PM
well, *i* thought it was comical. anyway, it was the dmv. what the hll do they know?
Posted by: supa | Friday, August 05, 2005 at 01:13 PM
Did you tell him you were going to blog his ignorant, humorless ass? And THAT writing your entry would be excellent revenge for having wasted a joke on him?
Posted by: Jenny | Friday, August 05, 2005 at 04:18 PM
I just found you via fussy and I'm sooo excited! I will be here very often now. You seem to have a beautiful family and are just my cup of witty tea.
Thanks.
Posted by: katie | Friday, August 05, 2005 at 04:54 PM
I thought it was funny too! I totally know what you mean i often feel my humor is lost in the delivery. I chalk it up to they're all dimwits.
Happy driving!
Posted by: jess | Friday, August 05, 2005 at 06:27 PM
There's a reason some people work at the DMV (and others get to write about it). And I think it is very funny!
Posted by: Donna | Friday, August 05, 2005 at 07:03 PM
That is exactly why I take public transportation...
I laughed way over here.
Posted by: still life | Saturday, August 06, 2005 at 12:30 PM
Oh, jenijen, I would have been in line behind you laughing myself silly at this exchange. I love it when I overhear a conversation gone bad and extend it. I would have loved to have been next in line and said something like, "Hello. Do you need to actually see my driver's license to write a check, being the DMV and all. My friends just refer to me as Fussy." Just to make him think he was in his own hell.
Miss you!
Posted by: Jenn | Sunday, August 07, 2005 at 05:38 PM
uhoh, I just ordered that shirt . . .I didn't realize it inspires others to stupidity. Ok, self is now noted. Thanks.
Posted by: Madness Rivera | Monday, August 08, 2005 at 06:02 PM
HAHAHAHA.
Good one.
I like my bank that says, "Tellers have no cash"
Hmmmm. Maybe i'm banking at the wrong bank.
Posted by: kristine | Monday, August 08, 2005 at 06:39 PM
LOL ... i love meeting people who don't get my jokes ... makes me feel abnormally pleased with myself ...
Posted by: late edition | Tuesday, August 09, 2005 at 09:10 AM
I think the absence of a decent sense of humor is part of the job requirements if you want to work for the DMV.
Posted by: European | Tuesday, August 09, 2005 at 11:30 AM
I'm with Late Edition. Although I love it when someone gets it right away, a small part of me is going, "Aww, man, there will be no having fun with this one."
Posted by: mindyr | Wednesday, August 10, 2005 at 09:24 AM
For shame. Such good ones, too.
Dirty Harry. Ha!
Licence. Ha!
Lord love a duck, to work at the dmv one MUST have a sense of humour, no? That man/boy/child(?) must suffer.
Posted by: Ada | Wednesday, August 10, 2005 at 09:06 PM
ahem.
I mean, HOW he must suffer.
Not that he MUST suffer.
Obviously, I'm not serving any revenge dishes over this way...
Posted by: ADa | Wednesday, August 10, 2005 at 09:08 PM
You are required to not have a sense of humor or a personality if you work at the DMV.
Posted by: Jazzy | Wednesday, August 17, 2005 at 11:45 AM
I thought all government employees had their sense of humour surgically removed, sorta like neutering pets.
Posted by: udge | Sunday, August 21, 2005 at 05:52 AM