Not Calm (dot com)

Way too much information

of the disgusting medical variety. (Told in a very, very long entry.)

my cool minivan, Willow's cool ball

stickers from l to r: East Village Inky, Bonfire Madigan, our old school, one my friend brought back from Hawaii, and one from another friend's son's memorial service two years ago

it glows spooky green in the dark!

I really, really love fall

I had things to say, but after a half hour posting pictures I'm just too sleepy to recall. If you click on those photos, they're big. Night.

Why nature made sure my children are cute

I cleaned this up and vacuumed in under a half hour. I was too pissy about it to have the kids help me, so I made them clean up the living room and help me with the vacuuming. I just knew that if they were in there with me complaining about it I'd lose my cool. I also knew that I could do it fast and that it was more than they could handle.

Today I made a huge pot of potato leek soup to feed family who came by for the afternoon. Uncle G brought gifts from his recent work related trip to South Africa (he's editing a documentary) and also a copy of an audio piece he created for the Sept 11th anniversary. He used a friend's emailed letters from just after the attacks and had them read by about thirteen different people. The voices sometimes overlapped, and sometimes different voices read the same lines in unison. Then a single voice might read a few lines. The music in the background was sparse and mostly kind of abstract sounds creating a mostly somber mood (I have an earache and can't focus too well, so sorry if I sound ditzy). The overall effect was amazing, and illustrated how the letters were from one specific New Yorker, but really from all of them or any one of them, if that makes sense. It was interesting to hear the letters interpreted by the different actors and actresses, since I read them when they were sent three years ago.

Willow's Grandma also came, and G's girlfriend, too. We got to just eat and sit around and talk. I love these fall afternoons when the holidays are distant enough to not be stressful yet. And, at this time of year I am again grateful that my husband is not what you'd call a sports fan. That means our Sundays are peaceful and lazy unless we decide to go out and hike or something unlazylike.

This week will be devoted to making and selling cookies at the school for a book buying fundraiser. The second graders every year raise money to buy books for kids whose families can't buy them. Then Lexy will get his cast removed !hooray! and we'll have to come up with a Halloween outfit for him by friday when the school has a parade and party. He wanted to be a sstarr vars character, but the school forbids any real or play weapons as part of the costume (also no scary ones) and so he's going to be something else. He didn't like my suggestion, which was that he wear the nasa coverall he got from his grandfather for his birthday and, using craft wire, attach small things to it and make it look like they're floating. Then I could spike up his hair and make his shoelaces go straight up with some glue and he's an astrounaut in space with no gravity. He just rolled his eyes at me. If only kids knew that the more they roll their eyes at us, the more fun we have embarassing them! Heh. just kidding. But I'm not really ready to move into the phase of parenting where I'm an embarassment. I much prefer total adoration.

Time to get over to the grocery store so I can make potato leek soup for our lunch guests. Nothing has changed around here, yet I rarely get to the computer. I miss my late night blogging and blog reading, but I'm sure I'll find my stride again soon.

I love fall.

Well, sine me up!

Funny spam header:

Our company think, that is what you demand.

Back later if I don't fall asleep.

This is the poor cut rose Sophie has been carrying around. She is mad that it won't grow when she plants it in the dirt. Tonight I told her she needed to sleep so she could grow. "Like a tomato?" she asked. Then she cried, "I don't want to grow like that!" She's a funny one.

This morning the girls got up at the crack of crack, also known as 5:40 A!!M!! Yikes. So, I couldn't keep Sophie up all day, and she napped a bit. Now she's sitting on my lap, singing songs and yawning. This morning she went out with me to rake and sweep leaves. Willow and Nathan joined us, and we had the yard and driveway pretty decent looking. Then John came out and we washed the cars to make sure that the forcasted rain would come. (It worked!) As we were finishing, a gust of wind blew down a lovely shower of yellow tiny leaves, and the yard had more than it did before we started. We knew it was coming since the trees still have lots of leaves left, but it was pretty funny. Buddhists must like fall. Especially Buddhist gardeners.

All right, I got Sophie to sleep so I can finally rant about the whole public school reward system that I'm learning about now that the boys are in a regular school as opposed to the positive dicipline, parent participation charter school. Basically, I'm horrified that when Lex turns in his homework, is attentive during class, remembers to hand things in on time, does well on tests, is kind (that is a BIG one for me), etc., he earns tickets which can be used to buy junk (plastic toys, candy, pencils -- well, pencils are okay, but really, who chooses a pencil?--) at the student store. Of course, they lose tickets for undesirable behavior. So, yes, the class is getting through lots of work, and yes, they are well behaved. At what cost, though?

Lesson learned

If you teach a child to do their own thing and not worry about what others think of him then you can't complain when you're unable to convince him NOT TO PICK HIS NOSE IN PUBLIC.

Viva what? Are you HIGH or something??

We live in a duplex and share a wall with the neighbor. A new couple moved in earlier this month. They are young and have no kids. I think they were shocked to see all the children. I felt horrible, since even though former neighbors swear we aren't too loud, I know we must be louder than an amusement park. In summer.

For a couple of weeks I spent lots of energy trying to keep the kids quieter when I knew the neighbors were home. But now? I don't worry about it! Because she has a bumper sticker in the driver's window of her car that says, "Viva Bu$h!" Just typing that, even with the misspelling, makes me shudder.

Sure, honey, take that toy back from the baby if you don't want her to play with it! Make sure you're both standing in the dining room, near the wall. And remember, the kid who screams loudest, WINS!

She's hard to see here, and I haven't found her nest yet, but I think we have another hummingbird mama in our backyard. I love watching them. Remind me to keep up with the sugar water sans red dye.

I have so much to write about and really no time to do it. So, go over here, and see the funny and sweet photo John took of Willow and Lexy during a snack break on our Sunday afternoon hike.

When I get a moment:
birthday
shopping for birthday at Toyyyys are Us
the reward system
John's new job (yay!)
and whatever tangents come up

Also, if you've never read this book, or this one, or this, do so. I think I have a new favorite author.

I'm ready to wait in the car

I came to a sad realization today. Not tragic sad or anything, but more of an I'm really sorta lame sad way. I'm ready for the time when the kids are all a little older and I find myself spending lots of time sitting in the car waiting for them to finish school or practice or lessons, or post bail or whatever. I want to sit in my car with a cup of coffee and read or listen to the radio or cd player while knitting. It's a shiny, lovely dream for me on days like today, when I wait for the boys to get out of class while Willow and Sophie are squaking in their car seats, entertaining themselves by smashing crackers into different types of surfaces and seeing how far they can throw cups of milk. Of course in this daydream I am also rich and thin. Seriously, though, I have what my friend calls "burnt out mommy syndrome." I look forward to waiting rooms and dental visits if I can just go ALONE. I love my kids. Love like I never knew was possible. But, they do suck the life out of you just by the nature of their being, and I really think that applies to my children a little more than most. That said, I wouldn't change a thing about my life. I just want to sit in the car.

I finished the washcloth. It's wet or I'd take a photo of it. It's not the most beautimous thing ever, but it's almost shaped like a rectangle and I do feel ready to make a scarf. There's a hooded sweater that I'm hoping to make this winter, after the holidays. It's not as daunting as I feared even though it will take me a long long time to do it.

Today I made two dozen birthday cupcakes for Lexy to share with his second grade class. I made them from scratch because I used to work in a restaurant and can't use a mix. Just can't. I know too many pastry chefs I suppose. So, there was whipping of egg whites, and melting of chocolate, and lots of vanilla paste. I even mixed up my own baking powder rather than face the store with the kids. I was already talking myself out of opening a cold beer before lunchtime after Willow snagged some unsalted butter and baking chocolate that I'd left out to soften up while I showered. She came into the bathroom with her face in the middle of a stick of butter saying, "YUM!!" Nate helped me out since I was too soapy to grab her. Sophie also helped by breaking an egg on the floor and getting flour and sugar everywhere. Still, the cupcakes came out well. I made chocolate and vanilla (with the vanilla paste and almond extract) and vanilla and chocolate buttercream frosting. I even decorated with some colored sugar sprinkles. Go me.

And I was all over that beer, and it's neighbor, come 5 pm.

Happy Birthday Caitlin!!

My youngest sister, who is also my youngest sibling, is 20 today. When she was a baby and I went places with her, people thought I was her mother. I could tell by the way they whispered about how young I was. Now she is TWENTY. Nate and Sophie look a lot like her, which is really interesting, since she and I don't look much alike. On Saturday Lexy turns 8. I'm gonna turn around and Willow will be 20. I don't like thinking about that, so a couple more hiking pics:

I think the highlight of my day had to be when I found Sophie in the living room, both smearing pinto beans and whacking her fist on the glass of the water monitor's (big big lizard) (also: scary) cage, while yelling, "Wake up lizard, it daytime!!"

But maybe it was when Sophie refused to leave the house to get Lexy from school early so he could visit the dentist, followed by her running away from me at the school enough times to make us late enough to have to reschedule.

Or it could have been the part where I was trying to talk on the phone and she decided that it was time to color eggs. That failing, she decided it was time for HER to crack an egg into a pan so SHE could cook and eat it. This didn't go her way either, so she decided that while her mother could crack the egg, SHE HEROWNSELF would have to stir the egg while it cooked and add the salt. These decisions were all made by screaming as fucking loud as possible. Try it sometime! Don't know if you should wear your new boots or those old but comfortable shoes to work?? SCREAM as loud as you can about it. And don't forget to insult whomever is nearby by calling them a stupid rat. Also call them ugly. And don't forget to say you hate them. Just make sure to then cry silently and pout, while asking in a trembling voice if you are still loved.

It looks like John has found a new job. He won't know for another day or so if he has a full-time (benefits, salaried, paid time off) or a full-time/part-year (no benefits, hourly, no work in November or December) position. I'm hoping for the full-time, but he's up against two people who already work there, so chances are sorta slim. But, the hourly pay is decent, and I'm sure hopeful that he'd get a full-time gig before too long. The job is amazing, either way. He'll be teaching at a fifth and sixth grade science camp (run by the county office of education) in the mountains right next to the park where we got married. The kids come and stay from Monday morning till Friday afternoon, with lots of lessons, hikes, campfires, and games. He's so perfect for that job. If he gets the part-time slot he'll have to find a seasonal retail job or something for the two months coming up, but that ought to be simpler than what he's been going through looking for full-time employment. We'll be breathing easier around here after we find out what the scoop is. Wish him luck.

I'm knitting a washcloth. I am not a very talented knitter, but I am persistent. I began with 35 stitches across, but now I mysteriously have 40, complete with sides that are not very straight. I think that on a few stitches I split the yarn with my needle, and when I did the next row, I knit in an extra stitch on the two split pieces. Does that make sense? I'll take a photo when I'm done. Who knows when that will be, though. I have to get as many ornaments as possible made for a craft fair the first weekend in December (it's on John's birthday! He gets to take care of the kids! All day! What fun!). If I make as much as I plan, and if I sell what I make, I should earn enough to pay for a big chunk of the shopping. If I can figure out the knitting thing, I can make some nice gifts, too. The most irritating thing about knitting, for me, is that I get a Will Smith song stuck in my head, Get Jiggy With It, (which I have NEVER EVEN HEARD!!) only I substitute "get knitty with it," in a tuneless, never having heard the song kind of way. It's driving me crazy. At least I have an excuse.

The irony of blogging is that when lots of things are happening and life is interesting, there is not time to write about it. That said, not much of real interest is happening here, but all the same I have no time to write because I'm so busy.

Lexy's arm seems to be healing okay, and he's not going to need surgery. Very glad, of course, about that. John had a great interview for the job he wants most. Our generous family has given and lent us lots of money to help us through. Sophie is mostly unmanagable. I don't remember robbing graves for body parts or hooking her up to any electric machines, but I seem to have created a monster nonetheless. Nate loves school. Lexy would rather stay home with me. Willow is cute. Really cute. I'm tired. Here are some more photos taken over the past week or so. John took Nate on a 5 (!) mile hike and they saw lots of wildlife. Enjoy. Happy October!